Making the Invitation
Making the Invitation 

Be encouraged! You are making change begin. 

The next step is to invite your loved one to attend your intervention, or Family Meeting. If you’re the one making the invitation, write down your invitation first in the form of a script – then live with it. Get to know the words, because they’re unlike anything you’ve said in the past, and you want to deliver these words, this invitation, flawlessly. 
Practice your invitation until the words become familiar to you and you have the courage to speak them out loud. When the invitation is made, the intervention has begun. Here are several examples: 

INVITATION #1 

Bobby, we’re having a family meeting this morning at eleven, with your mom and me and your brothers, along with Aunt Vicki and Uncle Bob, and your boss, Thomas. We asked Jonathan from Intervention Specialists for help because we’ve just not known what to do. Jonathan’s been clean and sober for a long time and he suggested we have a Family Meeting, so that’s what we’re doing. 

We’re going to have the meeting with or without you, but it’s important that you’re here with us. We haven’t known quite how to handle this, so we've come together and prepared a Change Message that we've begun working on as a family. Will you join us please? 

INVITATION #2 

Casey, your mom and I have been praying about what to do about your food problems – you’re so sick now, again. It's been hard to even talk about it amongst ourselves - because we've been so afraid of how sick you are. I've been telling myself you'll get better if we just give you a little more time, but time's up. The time to do this on our own has passed. We love you! 

Your mom and I need help, so we've asked for it. Bryant from Intervention Specialists suggested we get together for a Family Meeting - and so tomorrow after school, Ms. Sallberg, your Lit Teacher, your mom and I, your sister Kelly is driving up from Dayton, we are going to meet and get the help we need. Bryant’s brother died from addiction and he really has a heart for helping families get better. 

You're not the first one in our family to struggle with addiction of some kind, and we're going to break this cycle. In fact, we've already started. We're changing with or without you - so we sure pray you will join us, right here, with others who love you so much. 
       
INVITATION #3 

We love you, and we have been struggling with how to help, and what to do. We have been afraid of what's going on with you. We have been afraid of doing the wrong thing. We asked Dee for help, her son is in recovery too, sort things out. She’s great and she’s has been clean and sober for many years. She suggested we have a Family Meeting, so that's what we are doing. 

Remember last year when you stopped for three months - and we got our son back? Well he's gone again, and we are all together on beginning change. We will meet this Friday at 11am at our apartment....to talk about changes we are embracing and how we can help you. We ARE family, and WE LOVE YOU. 

We want to talk WITH YOU instead of just ABOUT YOU. 

THE RESPONSE 

After you ask your loved one to come to the Family Meeting, one of three things will happen: they will respond positively, negatively, or somewhere in between. Without fail, a conversation will start, and the intervention process has now begun. 

Sometimes, the person will be very agreeable, ask questions, and ask, “Wow, what took you so long?” Other times, the person will say “f--- you” and hang up the phone. He or she may even call you back, ask who will be there, and want more information. 

If your loved one responds negatively or hangs up, reconnect in a calm manner and reiterate that as a group you are moving forward in change, and having the meeting. Resist the urge to go into great detail. Be honest but concise. 

Points to stick with between the Invitation & Family Meeting are these: 

1) We love you and have begun change together
2) The time for doing this on your own has passed
3) We are having the meeting with or without you 
4) We will be talking about you, and would rather talk with you...so come 
5) See number one 

Refrain from getting into the intervention before the intervention. In other words, don’t have the Family Meeting before it starts. Remember: There is strength in numbers. Stick to the five points above and stay united as the Intervention Team. 

Without fail, once the invitation has been made, the intervention has started. Stay in a place of hope. Don’t fall into fear. Fear will push the hope out, and likewise, hope will push the fear out. We are together, and connected, and in love are intervening to enable positive change in our own lives and the lives of our loved one. 

Change has already begun! 
 


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